What is your name?
MacDara Ellis Francis Conroy.

What is your date of birth?
The 30th of May, 1980, which makes me 22.

Where were you born?
At the National Maternity Hospital, Holles Street, Dublin.

Can you describe yourself physically?
I'm about 5'9", with short brown hair, blue-ish eyes.

Do you have any siblings?
None. I am an only child.

What are your living arrangements?
A house in the suburbs of Dublin. I have lived here all my life.

What is your school? What grade?
I've just left university. I read Information Studies and Philosophy at University College Dublin, and will soon graduate with a 2.1 average to get my BA (Hons.). I've never had a grade or GPA. We don't have that kind of thing here. It's needlessly competitive and discriminatory on a number of grounds, really.

What is your job?
I am currently a full-time sales assistant at HMV Grafton Street, and a damn good one, in my humble opinion. I've been there on-and-off, part-time, since July 2000. Up until recently, I've been a full-time student, and I left the shop completely last September to concentrate on my studies (a wise decision).

What will be your future job?
You mean long term, like ten years? I hope to be making a comfortable living from writing. That may take some time. Short-term? This HMV thing will keep me going until I save up enough for a masters degree course.

What is your dream job?
Writing for the World Wrestling Federation/Entertainment would be cool. Their scripts are pretty bad lately. They're trying, but they could try a lot harder; a lot of talent is being wasted because of bad storylines and terrible booking. There's a serious lack of new ideas, and they're not giving the fans what they want.

Do you have any hobbies?
I read. I watch TV. I write stuff. I listen to music. Are these really hobbies?

Do you have any special skills or talents?
I can roll my tongue.

Do you smoke?
No.

Do you drink? How often?
I do. Not that often. Sometimes once or twice a week, sometimes once a month, sometimes never.

What's your favourite alcoholic drink?
I only drink Guinness when I go out. If a pretty girl buys me a shot I might drink it. Nothing too strong though.

Do you do any drugs?
No. Unless you count ibuprofen.

Have you ever committed a crime?
Not that I know of... if you call ingesting THC a crime, then technically yes. I didn't really enjoy it though. Maybe if the circumstances had've been different...

If you were to commit a major felony, what would it be?
I would have said 'assassinating George W. Bush' but that's too obvious. That, and I'd probably have difficulty getting immigration clearance. It was bad enough trying to get into Canada: it would have been nice if someone had told me beforehand that Toronto is a haven for the IRA.

What's your view on gays and gay rights?
Does it matter to me whether someone else is gay or lesbian or whatever? I think not.

Do you have any gay friends?
Yes I do. I know one or two. One of my best friends ever is lesbian. I'm so proud of her and I love her to bits.

What is your sexual orientation?
I guess I'm straight.

Who is the most attractive person you know?
She knows who she is.

Do you want/have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
I have a girlfriend. I finally came into contact with someone on the same wavelength as me, and I am so lucky. She is so amazing and special to me, words don't even come close to describing how I feel about her.

What is your biggest crush?
That would be telling, wouldn't it?

Have you ever been in love?
I am right now.

How many people have you "been with"?
Be more specific. What's with the quotations? "Nudge nudge, wink wink", eh?

What would be your future daughter's name?
I'd probably have to discuss that with my wife/girlfriend/whatever should the need be, mainly because I'd probably pick something really lame.

What would be your future son's name?
See above.

What's your favourite musical artist(s)?
I like so many - music is a great passion of mine - but my favourite artists, hands down, are the Minutemen.

What's your favourite album?
'The Punch Line' by the Minutemen.

What's your favourite movie?
I've thought about this a lot. Right now it's Kikujiro, a brilliant film by Takeshi Kitano.

What are your favourite TV shows?
They change all the time, so there's no point making a list here, but I make a point of watching wrestling every week.

What are your favourite cartoons?
The Simpsons, of course. And Family Guy. I liked Transformers when I was younger, and MASK. He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Ren & Stimpty late at night, the best time for it; MTV have been showing it at midnight recently. I've seen The Powerpuff Girls a couple of times and I liked it - Mojo Jojo is brilliant. Freakazoid was good, it was a shame it got cancelled.

What's your favourite board game?
I used to like Monopoly till I hit a losing streak a mile wide. I like Trivial Pursuit. And Pictionary. And Spoons (although it isn't strictly a board game).

What's your favourite book?
J.D. Salinger 'The Catcher In The Rye'. Charles Bukowski 'Ham On Rye'. Jack Kerouac 'On The Road'. Dave Eggers 'A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius'. I like all equally for different reasons.

Book you're currently reading?
'The Bridegroom', a collection of short stories by Ha Jin. Great stuff.

What's your favourite magazine?
I don't buy as many now. Monthly, I get National Geographic, Terrorizer, .net and Power Slam. I also get Careless Talk Costs Lives and I've recently started reading The Wire. I read Hot Press and NME at work, but I don't like them enough to buy them.

What are your favourite foods?
Cheese. And fudge. And those lovely mint crumble things they sell in Thorntons. And pasta. And curry... there's a great Tandoori restaurant in Worksop, need to find one here.... mmmm Indian food.... and Mexican food....

Which do you prefer - chocolate or vanilla?
Vanilla. I love vanilla.

What's your favourite Snapple?
I don't like it, really - but I did try the iced tea one, and that was nice. I do really like blue Gatorade, however. And blue Powerade, which is slightly sweeter.

What's your favourite smell?
The pages of a new book fresh from the store shelf. And vanilla. And my girlfriend's perfume.

What is the first thing you think when you wake in the morning?
Usually go back to sleep - I used set my alarm for 6:45am because I'm insane, but my body clock kinda shifted permanently from the late night work I used to do so I keep the alarm at a more sensible hour that fluctuates depending on when I have to get into college.

How many rings before you answer the phone?
I never count.

Do you like to drive?
I still have to learn, because I have terrible depth perception and I know I'm going to cause thousands of pounds worth of damage my first day on the road. Plus, other drivers scare me because so many of them are idiots.

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
I have a beanie baby monkey who sits near my bed. He has a technicoloured arse. He has since been joined by a small brown beanie dog named Rufus that I 'adopted' from a toy store, and a chicken named Mac from the movie Chicken Run, which I haven't seen yet. And I have recently been joined by a cute beanie puppy named Droozy and a beanie Eeyore and another little puppy with a shamrock named Ian, for some reason.

Storms - cool or scary?
If it's got forked lightning, then it's all good. There hasn't been a good storm here in over a year though.

What do you think of Ouija boards?
I believe in the possibility of ghosts, or at the very least would not rule out their existence, but Ouija boards are a bit of hokum really, but then again...

If you could dye your hair any colour, what would it be?
About a year-and-a-half ago I dyed it chestnut brown. It came out a dark, rusty red. I liked it a lot. Right now it's too short to dye properly.

Is the glass half empty of half full?
Completely empty. I finished it off when you weren't looking.

Are you a lefty, a righty, or ambidextrous?
I am right-handed.

Do you type with your fingers on the right keys?
Never. I actually use a trained monkey to type on my computer. His name is Brian.

What's on your mouse pad?
My mouse. Specifically, my cool new optical mouse.

What's under your bed?
The floor.

Are you always such a smartass?
Next question please.

Do you have a saying you use too much?
Used to be 'I don't wanna know!'. Currently it's 'sweet'.

Is there something about your personality that you'd like to change?
I am a bit less shy than I used to be, but I'd rather be not shy at all.

How have you changed in the last few years?
I have become slightly more outgoing and extroverted. On the other hand, I have also become increasingly misanthropic. Is that a good combination?

Name something strange about you.
Sometimes, when I turn around, I feel weird if I don't turn back around the other way.

Do you think you're good looking?
This is also a bit of a relative concept. In the past I might have been concerned about such a question but now, I accept that I am who I am and I don't need or want to change anything about me just to fit someone else's, or society-in-general's, concept of beauty or normality or anything. Then again, some girls find me cute.

What is your best physical feature?
Read the next answer.

What is your worst physical feature?
My skin, it's so pale. My fingers, they're very dry around the nails. My hair, it never sits right as it grows awkwardly and goes frizzy when it dries (which is why I started to shave it now and again this year). I'm working on getting slimmer - slow, but steady progress. I also have a big arse. But am I terribly upset about all this? Not really.

What are you attracted to?
Friend-wise? Someone I have at least something in common with. This could be anything. I have friends that I have seemingly nothing in common with, but they're still great friends. I don't really analyse situations like this - if an interaction clicks, there you go. I don't really care about physical appearances that much, since attraction for me is mainly the vibe I get from someone, but if you don't bathe or shower at least once a month and you smell bad then I probably won't like talking to you.
More-than-friend-wise? I have preferences - I have a thing for Oriental women, and rock chicks - but there's still the vibe factor, and any preferences go out the window when I actually get feelings for someone. I also have had a tendency to be attracted to women who don't reciprocate such feelings. Unrequited love.... but I think I've finally found someone who's perfect for me.

What is the worst feeling in the world?
Anxiety.

What is the best feeling in the world?
When you expect the worst and it never comes, and you know it never will. The high is amazing.

How long did it take you to answer these questions?
Too long.

Thank you for your time.
No, thank you.

.....

updated 29/11/02 | want to ask another question? sent it here